Untold Stories from the Road
by CharmedPhoenix500
Summary: Previously titled 'Dislocated'. I've decided to turn this into a series of one-shots about the tour. Featuring: Emilie Autumn, Veronica Varlow, and Captain Maggots!
1. Dislocated

**Author's Note: **My take on how Emilie dislocated her rib at the tour stop in Manchester, England tonight. My dirty little mind strung this story together thanks to some tweets from Veronica and Emilie.

**Dislocated**

The second show of the European tour was in full swing. Captain Maggots was out on stage alone, entertaining the crowd before the next round of songs. Emilie Autumn stood backstage reapplying her makeup in a full-length mirror with a large _YOU ARE THE DUDE _sticker placed across the bottom corner. She looked away from the mirror to pick up her mohawk, and gasped at the sight that met her eyes once they returned to the glass. Veronica Varlow stood in the doorway eyeing the blonde with a wild hunger. Emilie placed a shaking hand to her chest and laughed lightly, "VV, you scared me!"

The burlesque dancer grinned wolfishly, "I'm sorry, my darling." Veronica crossed the room and wrapped her arms around the singer's corseted waist, pulling Emilie tight against her body.

"VV," Emilie breathed as the raven haired woman nibbled at her ear. "We don't have time for this right now, Maggie can only stall the crowd for so long..."

Veronica, of course, hadn't heard a word that her friend had just said, she was far too busy trying to work her hand down the front of Emilie's tights to no avail. She growled in frustration, and spun Emilie around to face her. She pinned the blonde against the mirror, kissing her passionately. The singer moaned into the taller woman's mouth while their tongues fought for space. Veronica released another growl as she shoved Emilie against the makeup table.

Emilie hissed as the edge caught her side, "Fuck, you're rough tonight!"

Veronica bit Emilie's lower lip in reply. The singer gripped the fan dancer's hips tightly, surely leaving her own set of bruises behind. Emilie was finding it difficult to breathe, she wasn't sure if it was from Veronica's hands attempting to get down her tights again or if it was caused by the new sharp pain in her side. Veronica clawed at Emilie's clothes like a rabid animal, she nearly had the singer naked from the waist down when their dressing room door was thrown open.

Captain Maggots stood in the doorway glaring at the two disheveled women, "What the fuck, guys?"

Veronica turned to the petite redhead, "Wanna join?"

Maggots threw her hands up in disbelief, "No!-Yes-Not now-Later, definitely later! The fans are going crazy out there, let's go!" She exited the dressing room, and grabbing a teapot on the way back to the stage, she mumbled to herself, "Only the second tour stop and already at it."

Emilie quickly fixed her stage outfit while Veronica sucked at her neck, she inhaled sharply as the seductress's hand brushed against her aching side, "Fuck, that hurts."

Veronica's warm breath met Emilie's ear in a husky whisper, "I'll make you feel better after the show, I promise."

Emilie grinned at their reflections in the mirror, she would be sure to hold her friend to her word.


	2. Where's Maggots?

**Author's Note: **I've decided to turn this into a series of one-shots about the on-going tour; I'll write a new chapter whenever a new "Tour Secret" appears online. This chapter is based off of the video that Captain Maggots posted to Instagram.

**Where's Maggots?**

It was an hour or so before the girls' first show in Holland, and Veronica and Maggots were lounging around in the dressing room while Emilie was out doing the VIP meetup. The two Bloody Crumpets were already dressed in their stage clothes and beginning to feel antsy from being cooped up backstage for so long.

"I'm so bored!" Veronica groaned and flung herself onto the couch dramatically, landing face down in pile of pillows.

"Wanna play a game?" Maggots suggested from her perch atop the mini fridge.

The burlesque star instantly perked up, she lifted her head off the pillows and raised an eyebrow at her friend, "What kind of game?"

Maggots grinned widely, throwing her arms and legs up in excitement, "_Where's Maggots?_!"

Being the smallest of the Bloody Crumpets, Maggots was great at folding herself up and hiding in unexpected places. In fact, it was one of her favorite tour games, aside from Hook Hands, of course.

"Alright, where are you going to hide?" Veronica was sitting on the very edge of the couch now, excited to finally have something to do.

The redhead thought for a moment before looking down at the mini fridge underneath her. She shared a knowing grin with Veronica, "Perfect!" they cheered in unison and high-fived.

Veronica stood in the doorway to their dressing room, keeping an eye out for Emilie to return while Maggots stood in front the mini fridge ready to climb inside once her friend gave the word. A few minutes passed before Veronica finally heard Emilie's voice echoing down the hall.

"She's coming!" the fan dancer darted back inside the dressing room.

Maggots crawled into the mini fridge and Veronica shut the door once she was situated, then she hoped onto the couch and began to twirl her hair nonchalantly, trying to act normal. Emilie and Melissa entered the dressing room and placed arm loads of gifts onto one the tables.

"Hey Emmie, how did VIP go?" Veronica asked, her eyes darting to the fridge.

"It went well, as always," Emilie beamed. She began to sort through some of gifts, and Veronica frowned, realizing that the blonde had no intention of going to the mini fridge anytime soon.

"Hey, babe," Veronica purred, "can you get me a water since you're already up?"

Emilie rolled her eyes at the seemingly lazy Crumpet, "Sure."

As soon as Emilie opened the door to the mini fridge Maggots' hand popped out with a bottle of water, "Here you go!"

"Maggots!" Emilie screeched and jumped back a few paces with her hand over her thundering heart.

Veronica and Maggots both erupted into fits of hysterical laughter while Emile continued to glare at them. "You will both pay for this," she vowed through clutched teeth.

Melissa sighed from her spot by the door, the last thing she needed was the girls running around pranking each other for the rest of the tour.


	3. Lava

**Author's Note: **This chapter is based off of Veronica Varlow's newest entry in her Danger Diary (which you should also be reading because it's fantastic!).

**Lava**

"The floor is LAVA!" Veronica Varlow's voice rang out through the tour bus at 9am. She skillfully stretched from her bunk to Emilie Autumn's, bracing her arms on the edge of the other girl's bed. "Emmie, get up! The floor is lava!" Veronica slipped her hand under the curtain that hid Emilie from her and wiggled her fingers in her friend's face.

Emilie pulled back the curtain and took in the sight before her. "VV, what the hell are you wearing?"

The burlesque star was clad in a light blue, full body, elephant onesie; she had the hood up so that the elephant's trunk was two inches from Emilie's face. "What?" Veronica frowned, "It was a gift!"

Emilie shook her head and grinned, "You are so weird."

Veronica threw her head back, doing her best elephant impression.

The sound caused Maggie to poked her head out from her bunk above Veronica's, "You sound more like a _dying_ elephant!"

"Hmph," Veronica pouted.

"Come on, you lunatics," Maggie climbed out of her bunk, "last one to the front of the bus is a rotten egg!" The circus performer made her way across the other bunks effortlessly.

Melissa was pouring herself a cup of coffee when Maggie hopped onto the counter and yelled, "The floor is lava, get off of it!" The tour manager put the coffee pot down before boosting herself up onto the counter to sit next to the red head. "That was close," Maggie poured herself a cup of tea and turned back to the bunks, "Are you two coming?"

"I'm stuck," Veronica yelled back, still stretched out between her bunk and Emilie's.

"Get in here before your arms give out and you fall," Emilie moved over a bit, allowing room for Veronica to crawl in.

"Oh well, hello there," Veronica purred nuzzling Emilie's neck with the elephant trunk.

The blonde laughed, "I can't take you seriously in that thing."

"Well maybe you should help me take it off then," the raven haired seductress wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Emilie grinned widely, pulling the curtain closed.

Maggie sighed turning to Melissa, "I think we've lost them."

Melissa hopped down off of the counter, "Yep."


End file.
